For those in the trenches, thinking about home and wondering what they were doing. Those that never returned home. Those who returned home affected by war mentally or physically, more often than not both. And finally, to those fathers that had to stay behind at home, too old or ill to fight, watching their sons going off to fight the war.
In the grand scale of things, we don't have it too bad today. Okay so there are horrible events taking place in the world at the moment, but we can still spend time together as a family. Technology advances have meant that even if we can't, we can use skype or mobile phones to talk to our family.
For the fathers of the First World War, they were alone, whether it be at the front or at home. After the euphoria of the Lord Kitchener's volunteer drive had died down, what were those fathers thinking. They had waved their sons off to war, the war that would be over by Christmas, only to find that as the war dragged on, the risk of their son being injured or killed seemed greater. As families nearby received the dreaded news, it hit home hard. A man at this time, was not expected to cry or show his emotions. For many of these men, the only emotion they knew how to show was anger.
Letters supposedly kept the family together, yet as the war dragged on, they became less frequent. Sometimes, you could go months without any, your mind fearing the worst, only to received three or four letters at a time. In reality, what could a soldier write home about? They could ask how everyone was, what his family had been doing back home, answer questions asked such as are they being fed enough. But could they really write down what THEY had been doing? Could they write and say that they killed a man that day? Would it be deemed unpatriotic if they wrote home and said they were scared and wanted to go home?
A divide had begun between life on the frontline and life at home. It was a divide that would only worsen, not only as the war dragged on, but as the soldiers returned home.
For the sons that returned home. Many felt they couldn't talk to their father's about what they had witnessed, of what they had done. The First World War was a new war - a war when you didn't have to have years of experience in the army to be a soldier. A war that was not longer fought with just the cavalry and cannons. This war had snipers, guns, tanks and planes, the men suffering strapnel wounds, gas attacks and shell shock. How would their father's understand what they had gone through? Instead it was just not talked about, life went on as best as it could.
For the fathers that returned home. Life had gone on without him, the children had grown up fast and their wife had gone out to work to help the war effort and to be able to afford to pay the rent, food and clothing. Father's that had left a tiny baby behind, found themselves looking at a child they didn't know or understand. A child that was scared of this stranger they were now suppose to call dad. His older children wanted to know all about the war, wanted to play toy soldiers with him when all he wanted to do was forget the war had ever happened.
These men, who had returned mentally or physically harmed, many of who were suffering from shell shock couldn't settle back down to home life. Gone were the regimental routines, the following orders, the need to survive. Instead, they were left to fend for themselves, expected to go back out to work, feeling an outcast because his violent outburst had scared the children so much they wouldn't go near him. His crawling under the table or bed every time someone slammed a door shut had his wife looking at him with a sense of pity. He could never tell her what he witnessed in the villages at the hands of the enemy.
So no, I don't think we have it too bad. The thing that upsets me most of all is that they were alone. The wasn't the support and help available to help a soldier find their way again in civilian life. Whilst some were able to get help, it was usually only available to those that were officers or who had the money to pay for it, yet all many of them needed was to talk. To talk and to cry and to be with people who understood, who had been there, who wouldn't judge them. So this father's day, my message to is, ask your father or your grandfather about their life experiences, whether they were in the services or not, they have experiences that I am sure they would be happy to share, things that you could learn from. Take your time, listen to them, that is worth more than any card or present. Enjoy the time you have with them because before you know it, it will be all gone. Remember, family is the most important thing, without them, you wouldn't be where you are today.